More Blonde jokes below:

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on a desert island. They start looking around for a way off the island, and one of them finds a genie lamp. And, of course, each of them gets 3 wishes! The brunette said that she wanted unlimited food that will never disappear, so they wouldn't get hungry. The redhead said that she wanted a really big house to shelter them from the rain and stuff. Then, the genie asked the blonde what she wanted and she said "I want a car door". They all started laughing and the brunette said "you fool! why do you want a car door?" The blonde told her "DUH! so I can roll the window down if I get hot!


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A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door.

When the farmer answers, she says to him, "It's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?"

"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." She looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer.

She judges them to be in the early twenties. "Okay," she says. After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little horny just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her.

So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"

They say, "Huh?"

She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go it all night long. Forty years later, Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth.

Jed says, "Luke?"

Luke says, "Yeah, Jed?"

Jed says, "You remember that blond woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah", says Luke, "I remember."

"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed.

"Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not."

"Me neither" says Jed,

"Let's take these things off."


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A blond walks into a barber shop wearing a sit of headphones. She sits down in the chair and says I need my hair cut. Barber starts to cut the right side then stops.

Barber: "You need to take off your headphones"

Blond: "I can't, I'll just die!"

The barber cuts the right side and goes to the left side. He starts cutting then stops.

Barber: "You really have to take off your headphones"

Blond: "I can't, I'll just die!"

The barber cuts the left side and starts to the back. He starts cutting then stops.

Barber: "Now, you REALLY have to take off your headphones"

Blond: "I can't, I'll just die!"

The barber starts cutting then stops. He leans over and grabs the blonde's headphones. She gags then falls to the ground dead. The barber picks up the headphone and listens. *Breathe In. Breathe Out. Breathe In. Breathe Out.


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A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying "Ehhhh .. 22!". The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?". The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!". This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?" The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "Mandy!". The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?" "Ohh that!", replies the blonde, "That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....' "


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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. And for year and years they live there, one day they find a magic lamp. They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one" So the brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life-- I just want to go home" and POOF she is gone. The the red head makes her wish "This place sucks, I want to go home too" and poof she is gone. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her " my dear what is the matter, "I wish my friends were here


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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."


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This blonde wakes up in the middle of the night to find her house on fire. Panicked, she dials 9-1-1 and screams "My house is on fire, you've got to come put it out", and the fireman says, "Okay, ma'am, could you tell us how to get there?", and she says "Duuuh, in the big red truck!"


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A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.

"Where are you hurting?" the doctor asked.

"All over," said the woman.

"What do you mean, all over? Be more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts."

Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too."

Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts," she cried.

The doctor observed her thoughtfully and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?"

"Why, yes." "I thought so. You have a broken finger."


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There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the "Dumb Blonde" jokes. So she went home one evening and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some dumb guy starting telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted with the shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these dumb dumb blonde jokes. I want you to know that THIS blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals!" One of the guys, said, "I don't believe you. What's the capital of Wyoming?" "W," she answered.


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A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping."


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A blond, brunette, and redhead were caught on enemy territory, and were put on trial. They were found guilty, and were sentenced to death by a firing squad.

The next day, the three women were lined up. The redhead was up first.

The leader yelled "READY... AIM........", but just then, the Redhead yelled "TORNADO" and when they all looked, she ran away.

Next was the brunette. The leader yelled "READY... AIM.....", but just then, she yelled "FLOOD" and when they all turned to look, she ran away.

Last, was the blond. The leader yelled, "READY... AIM....." and the blond, seeing the pattern, yelled "FIRE", and was shot.

More Jokes down below and just e-mail me if you have any other jokes or anything to make this website be a better website as it is.E-mail me at:djandrew2003@yahoo.com

Driving Jokes



A car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trench coats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. This results in one of the worst pileups in history. When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the side of the road, the man replied, "I broke down and was just using my emergency flashers!"


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Josh was helping Sally, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.

She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."

Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"

Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."


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One day, two guys decide to take a drive to a local grocery store to get some lunch. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed,

"What the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!"

Then the driver responded, "Don't worry, my mother always drives like this." So later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light.

Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!"

The driver looked at the passenger and responded, "All right! I get it but I told you my mother drives like this all the time!"

Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The Driver slammed on his breaks and stopped the car totally.

"What the hell are you doing?" The passenger screamed.

"This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?"

"Well, my mother might be coming the other way!" The driver said.


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The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as I sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper. Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked. On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car behind me was a police car. Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears. He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up for flipping me the bird.


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A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "...and you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10 speed bike honking to pass."


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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him,

"I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it"

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."

His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"


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A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then, we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."

"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."


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Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says,"Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that shit with me!'"


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A motorist, after being bogged down in a muddy road, paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull him out with his tractor. After he was back on dry ground, he said to the farmer,

"At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day."

"Can't," replied the farmer. "At night I haul water for the hole."


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A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."


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The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book she said:

"I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball."

He replied, "No, highway patrolmen don't have balls."

There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ?
A: Gifted !

Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells ?
A: Pregnant.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde ?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette ?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: How does a blonde part their hair ?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders ?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together !

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg ?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink ?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables !

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain ?
A: After a dye job.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane ?
A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up ?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger ?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment ?
A: An IN-body experience !

Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle ?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.

Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common ?
A: Put either of 'em in a car and the're fucked.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme ?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up ?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle ?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks ?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer ?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer ?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer ?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common ?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer ?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads ?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno !

Q: How do you kill a blonde ?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears ?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello ?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head ?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles ?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas ?
A1: They can't find the zipper.
A2: They cant find the pull tab.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings ?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings ?
A: To put their feet through.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive ?
A: Her ankles.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick ?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick ?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator ?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators ?
A: They chip their teeth.

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear ?
A: They make good ankle warmers.

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay ?
A: Remove their underwear.

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts ?
A: Cause their balls show !

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde ?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk !"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde ?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk !"

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing ?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: What's a brunette's mating call ?
A: Has that blonde gone yet ? A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave !?
A3: "All the blondes have gone home !"

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs ?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do blondes like the GST ? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What is 74 to a blonde ?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes ?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts ?
A: Tits Go In Front.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side ?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes ?
A: A mental block.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind ?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in ?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning ?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning ?
A: Fertilized.

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs ?
A: Unfertilized.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex ?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex ?
A: Kick open the car door.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering ?
A: More head room.

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs ?
A: More leg room.

Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde ?
A: Bucket seats.

Q: What do blondes say after sex ?
A1: "Thanks, Guys !"
A2: "Are you boys all in the same band ?"
A3: Do you guys all play for the ?
A4: Who were all those guys ?

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob ?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks ?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having sex ?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate ?

Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm ?
A: *Who cares ?*

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms ?
A: So they know when to stop having sex !

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm ?
A1: She drops her nail-file !
A2: Who cares ?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares ?
A7: The batteries have run out.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear ?
A: "Thanks for the refill !"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear ?
A: Data transfer.

Q: Why do blondes use tapons with extra long strings ?
A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress ?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: Why do blondes have more fun ?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A1: "What's a lightbulb ?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady !"

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine ?
A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami !"

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes ?
A: A wine cellar.

Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes ?
A: Peroxide.

Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes ?
A: They're doing research on black holes.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!

Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
a: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie
theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where
did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Some yo mamma jokes for everyone:

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they
said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her
shower.

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!!

Yo momma so ugly that her face will make a freight train take a dirt road!!

Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life.

Yo Mommas so ugly, she wealked into taco bell and they all
ran for the border!!!!!

Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

If you have any other jokes like these just E-mail me a djandrew2003@yahoo.com